By Gordon Korman
While luckless Raymond Jardine turns into Sean Delancey's eleventh-grade-English undertaking associate, he persuades Sean's grandfather to pose as a long-deceased, vague Canadian poet, as a way to move the direction and win a holiday to a sumptuous Greek island.
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1 won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow! 8. Wow, it really Is ten inches! 9. Does this make my butt look too small? I"m wrong. You must be right again. What do women and cowples have in common? The older they get. the easier they are to pick up. The modem woman Is well educated, well dressed, highly motivated, professionally oriented, drives a BMW and thinks that cooking and fucking are cities In China. Women have only got themselves to blame for all the lying that men do.
12. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant 13. You can have chocolate at any time of the month . 14. You're never too old for chocolate. 15. When you're having chocolate, it doesn't keep anyone awake in the next room. 43 Thr lllrtlest. Most Politically Incorrect Jolles fver 16. Even small chocolates are good. 17. You can have chocolate w ith kids and not go to jail. 18. Chocolate doesn't keep you awake snoring after you've had it. 19. You can have chocolate all weekend and still walk OK on Monday.
Mast Palltlnlly Incorrect Jakes her Ray was on vacation in Bangkok when he visited an antiques shop and spotted a little Ivory idol in the corner of the store. As he studied It closely he was surprised when it spoke to him. "Please help me, kind Sir. I'm not really an ivory idol, I'm a beautiful young princess, trapped in here by a wicked witch's spell. " •t'll talk to my brother-In-law about it; said Ray, "he's an idle fucking bastard: ... John sat still as the fortune-teller gazed Into her crystal ball.