Download Comedy Writing Secrets: How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act by Melvin Helitzer PDF

By Melvin Helitzer

Real line from the booklet: "Many of the mask of comedy, comparable to The Vaudevillian, The outdated Timer, and The Ventriloquist, haven't been played regularly for years, and nobody can clarify why."

A query FOR THE a while.

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Read or Download Comedy Writing Secrets: How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act Funny and Get Paid For It PDF

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Additional info for Comedy Writing Secrets: How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act Funny and Get Paid For It

Sample text

That's so much better-! can't thank you enough! " "Anything," replies the elephant. "Well," says the little mouse, "I've been sort of checlcing you out in the jungle here for quite a while now, and actually, I sort of have the hots for you. " The elephant looks at the mouse incredulously. '' The mouse nods. " So the little mouse goes around to the back of the elephant and climbs up her back leg. He gets on top of her and starts going at it. Once he gets going he is really having a grand old time.

Says the man. "That's terrible! " He then adds scornfully. " * * 22 • t~ 0 }~l~ A drunk walks into a bar and sits down. In front of each stool he sees three darts. He calls the bartender over and says, "Hey! " He picks up a dart and, weaving from side to side, hurls it, clutching the bar at the last moment just in time to prevent himself from falling off the stool. Amazingly the dart lands fmnly in the center of the bull's-eye. He picks up the second dart, and with one hand on the bar steadying himself as best he can, he throws it.

50 * Did you hear about the new law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe? * * * A traveling salesman goes to a farm. As he drives up the road to the farmhouse he sees a pig with a wooden leg in the yard. '' "Funny you should mention it," says the fanner, "but that pig is the greatest pig I have ever had. One time I was doing the chores in the barn when l happened to doze off. Suddenly the barn caught fire. "This pig," says the farmer, his eyes welling up with tears, "broke out of his pen, came into the burning bam, nudged me awake, and pulled me to safety.

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